Maniacal Musings of a Mother of Many

It’s the end of the semester and the kids all have the day off of school. Yay! Let’s play!! Andrew had to go on a quick business trip. That’s ok. We can survive one day. I’ll get up early (not) and make a fun breakfast (uh-does gluten-free pancakes count?) and we will go do something different and fun (for all–ages 1 1/2 to 14 3/4–good luck!).

Well, it started off alright, I got to sleep until 8:30 (amazing!!) and change a poopy diaper first thing (it’s best to get these things out of the way). Then I got started on breakfast and it all started to head south from there.

Sniff. Sniff. What’s that smell?

Uh oh. I guess Tyler STILL can’t have soy. Time for a bath.

Then things started to look up. The girls decided to “clean” their room…

…by getting everything out to “organize” it. I hope there’s a floor when they’re done. 0__o

Then I discovered poop foot prints from one bathroom to the next (across my CARPET) and a flood on the bathroom floor. (Sorry, no pictures.) I was making pancakes and don’t even know HOW the poop did this! Ugh. My poopy life.

I hardly ever feel like quitting my job so early on in the day. But I was very…um…displeased with how our morning was going and the thought of quitting did cross my mind briefly.

It can only go up from here, right? Man if this day gets worse I just might have to apply for a transfer. But I’d miss this too much:

Wait, not that last one.

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what about this?

Ammon loves balls, throwing, catching, chasing, and eating! The way he says apple sounds like apbo. I’m sure he thinks they are balls for eating. And boy does he love eating them. Obviously I need to hide them better!

Y'all know I broke my nose on Andrew's elbow, right? And it happened because I, being 5'4", tried to tickle he, who is 6'4", whilst he was laying on his arms for a massage of his sore muscles. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to get him. It's just not fair having someone who is so ticklish be so difficult to tickle! So I gotta try to get 'im when the gettin's good! And there's no better time than when his body weight is on his own arms. It was the perfect trap, I tell you! He couldn't get up. All he could do was squirm backwards and try to stand up. And as he was standing and my balance was off from laughing and tickling, my nose met with the backwards force of his elbow as he was standing and flinching.

I had seen his elbow coming in slow-mo! That's never a good sign. But I couldn't move out of the way…and then…

Crack!

Oh, I knew immediately it was the worst hit my nose has ever had.

I iced it the rest of the evening, which helped keep swelling down. The bruising I got under my eyes was minimal, I just looked really tired. Nobody noticed the next day at church.  It didn't feel too bad either.

Then Tuesday Jared gets right in my face and says he thinks it looks crooked.  Oh great!

So driving home, I think I can feel something crooked and decide to try to move it, and…yowza!!! Never try to adjust your own nose!! I definitely did SOMEthing.  I asked Dr. Grandpa to take a look. He didn't think it looked displaced. We checked old photos…my nose has been crooked for a long time!  

So there's nothing much to do but let it heal.

But the next morning it was much worse. Way more swollen and throbbing constantly. I obviously did something to it while trying to fix it.

We planned on going to Camarillo/Santa Barbara for a couple of days (to squeeze in SOMETHING fun before school starts since I was finally feeling a little more normal after the miscarriage).

While there I managed to hit myself in the nose with my own hand IN MY SLEEP! and I'm pretty sure I fixed it. It felt so much better that I had to have fixed it. Yay!

A few days later, while cuddling and being oh so cute, Ammon slammed his head into my nose and some of the swelling came back.

Sunday afternoon Brooke jumped up and got me, again, with her head. Repeat swelling. Today it feels really weird. More throbbing.  I'm sure it's just the swelling from Brooke.

I think I might need to go get a hockey mask to protect myself from more injury! 

For fun, here are some of the pics I got every few days.  The first two are in the first few days.  The one in the pink, with tons of makeup on, is after I adjusted it myself and is about the worst the swelling got.

The last two are from just now.  The sunburn I got on Saturday has masked some of the current bruising. So it doesn't look like much anymore. Thank goodness.

It's a good thing I have that funky birthmark on my leg and had all of that acne (and still do) so that I have had tons of practice in walking around embarrassed about my appearance and pretending like I don't care.  And let's not forget my moustache that makes all teenage boys jealous. Oh yeah, and all of those birthing experiences…especially Ammon's…those have taught me how to practice denial as well.

Anyone know how long it should take to heal?

For more on the broken nose experience, see my Broken Nose Lessons on Facebook.  ;)

Later addition:

Here are a few pics of me before the broken nose.  It is slightly different.  It's easier to see the difference now that the swelling is down a bit.  Oh well, I guess God doesn't want me to be vain and is teaching me humility in new ways.  Two are from the last year or so, and I might be pregnant with Ammon, but one of the pics below is almost 10 years old and about 50 pounds lighter–great, now I'm depressed!

The other day Brooke and I were dropping the Teenagers off at mutual and she said, "I feel like I have a nipple on my lip." "What?" I stopped the car. She didn't know what she meant, and because I was laughing, she was embarrassed and couldn't tell me. My best guess is that she meant a Tickle.

This morning she was showing Ammon her belly button and I told her to put her shirt lower. She said, "Why, I'm not showing my nickel?"
Funny girl. I didn't correct her. That's not as good as "chibblies" but it's still pretty funny.

My silly girl: (taken too close with my phone so the quality is poor, but you get the idea).

Jenna surprised me with a dinner planned and prepared by her. She organized everything and made plans with Andrew to have me out of the house for a few hours while she cooked and set it all up. She got the other kids involved too, with decorating and dressing up as waiters and waitresses (in black). I had a bit of a clue because she interviewed me at great length about my favorite restaurant (CPK) and foods (party chicken and cheesecake), and then she spent a lot of time with yellow and black construction paper.
She was so thoughtful and it was a fun night. Thank you Jenna!

Welcome to CPK

Our Greeter

Please come this way

How'd that get there?

Table for two

The Planner/Preparer (who wouldn't cooperate for the camera even once)

Chalk art by Ashley

More chalk art by Ashley

Table fliers

The Menu

Our menu choices (some of them pretend)

Back of menu

Waiters

Our Fancy setting

Dinner for "two" and company

Daddy is taking care of feeding Ammon for me.  We had a very nice time.  I think I'd like to go there again next year!

Before I forget, I want to share what Tyler said in his prayers the other night. But first, I have to explain… I haven't quite figured out WHY, but Tyler has ALWAYS wanted to be prompted about what to say during his prayers. I think he thinks they have to be perfect, or something. I've talked to him about them being HIS prayers and what HE wants to say. But he goes blank, or something. This past year he has said his OWN prayers more often — and BOY are they creative. He occasionally still wants me to TELL him what to say, but if I pause and wait, something interesting usually comes out. One night last week, with no prompting from me, he very quickly rattled off the following prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father, I am thankful for Ammon, for Jesus, for my mind and my heart; for You [meaning Heavenly Father]. When I get to heaven, I have a big question [long pause] How were you made? [then he discussed the possibilities for a moment]. I'm thankful for duct tape, paper, wood, metal, Adam and Eve, credit cards and dinosaurs, if they're real. In the name…..Amen.

There were a few other things mentioned, but these were the ones I could immediately recall when I left his room giggling to myself!

[This is his sweet, I-love-you-Mommy face!  He makes this face when he's handing me the love notes he made in the 1st grade writing center at the end of class.  In this case, he's happy to be helping with my birthday surprise dinner and he's a waiter.]

This says so much about each of their personalities!

Ammon sure loves splashing me when he’s in the tub.
I know one of these is a bit blurry–but it’s my phone camera and he moves a lot. I’m actually surprised at how well the camera works. (iPhone 4 is better than iPhone 3GS.)

Did this work?

I so do wish I had more spare time to sit at the computer so that I could catch up a bit on blogging.  But I’m at the point where there IS NO catching up.  So here’s just a quick collage I experimented with on Picasa.

Ammon is about to turn 10 months old.  These aren’t the best pics, but they do capture his enthusiasm for playing with Mommy.